PAX East 2012: Ten things I learned from PAX

As you’ve doubtlessly gathered from my last few posts, I attended PAX East in Boston earlier this month. It was an incredible experience—I interviewed several movers and shakers in the gaming industry, as well as chatted with several others in the gaming press. My time spent at the event was unimpeachable, and I learned a great deal from my travels on the east coast.

Now that said, the only way to learn is by doing, and sometimes I did things, well, incorrectly. Fortunately, I was able to push past my flubs, and I would like to pass my newly-gained knowledge onto my devoted readers.

Ten Things I Learned At PAX East

  1. Test the equipment. Then test it again.

  2. Hell, test it after that, too. Several times during the weekend, I found to my utter horror that my interview equipment was not meeting the standards of quality I was hoping for. My colleague and I dealt with everything from poor lighting to bad audio and we had to soldier on with the footage we collected, much to my chagrin sometimes.

    It’s not just making sure the equipment doesn’t look crappy, though; it’s also about making sure the “good” quality material can be turned into “great” quality. Things like testing out different microphone positions for interviewing, or fiddling with camera functions until the lighting is just right. Running experiments beforehand can produce better results when time absolutely matters, which will produce better product and make everyone look really damn competent overall.

  3. Regularly maintenance your equipment

  4. Okay, this one was a total scrub mistake, and one I didn’t think would actually bite me in the ass until its teeth were firmly sunk in. Things like charging the camera overnight, regardless of how full the battery “looks,” or emptying out the memory card regardless of how much free space you think might be on there. Every piece of equipment should be fresh and rearing to go for every day of shooting.

  5. Stay in a hotel

  6. During my time in Boston, I was staying with a few friends from college who moved to the area recently. I adored seeing them after so many years, and I appreciated them taking the trouble to house me under their roof for the five days I was on the East Coast.

    However.

    I soon came to realize that paying for a hotel doesn’t just grant you a place to sleep—it also grants you a temporary work space, as well as convenient access to the area you’re covering. I wanted to be far more productive on my trip than I was, but couldn’t be because my friends live in a studio apartment, and burning the midnight oil would have meant keeping everyone up. Not only that, my friends live about seven miles away from the convention center, and made the use of public transportation paramount to surviving the weekend. This wouldn’t have been such a hassle except…

  7. Public transit is not some magical fast-travel system

  8. Forgive me. I come from Montana, a land where regular buses and trains are about as common as gold-plated unicorns to operate them, and the prospect of traveling to a city with an actual transit system filled me with thoughts of regular, easy transportation to wherever I needed to be. Sometimes, I was right. Others, I was waiting twenty minutes or more for a train. The worst part came on Friday night, when I was trying to catch a bus home from a bar that was closing. Little did I know that Boston all but shuts down after midnight, and that no buses or trains would come to my aid. I felt like Moses in The Ten Commandments, with Edward G. Robinson chastising me, “Where’s your public transportation now?”

    I ended up catching a cab back to my friends’ place, to the tune of thirty dollars. Public transit is fine for tourists, but when on assignment for work, I need reliability.

  9. Remember to eat and drink

  10. Like, literally remember. I was so caught up in gathering footage and darting around from appointment to appointment that I would have skipped on food if my colleague constantly didn’t remind me to eat lunch. This is particularly handicapping for me, as my performance in strenuous situations decreases when my blood sugar is low. In the future, I’ll remember to respect my lunch time, and by “respect” I mean “acknowledge.”

  11. Your icons are people, too

  12. I’m a video game blogger from Montana who works in a small office booking movies. I don’t interact with famous people on a regular basis. Heck, I don’t interact with so much as a KFC Famous Bowl on a regular basis. So when it came to finally meeting writers and game-makers that I idolize, I was unprepared for the fanboyish rush that I would get from being in the proximity of dudes and dudettes whose work I admire greatly. I looked like a right prat when I introduced myself to Jason Schreier and Stephen Tolito of Kotaku in a manner that sounded like Rhino from Bolt, and I repeated this performance several times during the weekend.

    The best piece of advice I received actually came from Kim Swift, creative director of Portal and the upcoming Quantum Conundrum. While I was meeting with her up in the Square Enix suite, I mumbled something about getting to meet some of my favorite game designers and how I felt overwhelmed about it. “Don’t,” she simply said. It helped impart the idea that the people I’m talking to aren’t “different” from me in any sort of superior sense of the word; they’re just regular guys who happen to do really cool things. It helped me keep my head a bit, but I’ll be even better on this next trip.

  13. Wheel-less suitcases suck

  14. During one of my last bouts of travel, one of the wheels on my suitcases snapped off. It was sad, but didn’t deter me from bringing it along on my PAX trip anyway. Oh, what a fun mistake that was. You see, it wasn’t as though I went straight from the airport to some hotel via taxi or family member-driven mini-van, like it usually happens. No, like I discussed further up in the essay, I stayed with a few friends seven or so miles out of town, requiring me to lug my bloody filled-to-the-brim suitcase on two trains, four buses, and hundreds of meters in walking-distance until I got where I needed to be.

    It got old. Quick.

    At any rate, I can safely re-invest in new luggage now, and the prospect of finally getting a new suitcase sits reasonably well with me. Still, lacking wheels showed me how much of a pain in the ass travel used to be without them.

  15. Take only what you want to carry for the entire day

  16. This is like the above list item, except much more annoying in a niggling sort of way. Basically, I wanted to be all Boy Scout and bring a crap ton of extra things with us—extra mics and their cables, change of clothes (I’m serious), my satchel full of extra goodies, etc. I basically became a pack mule on the floor, lugging about 20 lbs. of miscellaneous junk around from interview to interview (to interview) as we sprinted between appointments.

    Now, this isn’t to say I shouldn’t bring additional just-in-case equipment. Far from it—extra batteries and those sorts of things are great for storing in the press room. Hauling around large, cumbersome headphones for sound check purposes, though, probably wasn’t such a hot idea, especially since I ended up taking them off in clutter-based frustration and then forgetting them.

    Like most things in life, it’s a bit of a balancing act to figure out my “needs” from my “it would be nice”s, and one I’ll nail in the future. I just need to be cognizant of it going forward.

  17. Life will go on even if your footage is less than optimal

  18. Friday and Saturday were spent largely learning how to use our equipment, and by the end of the second day, I was in a right state at not having G4-quality footage for the site back home. I got myself nice and worked up, too, until a fellow journalist attending a panel with me helped talk me down from the mental ledge I was climbing out onto. This is more of a general life lesson, but the best thing to do when faced with work you’re dissatisfied with is to make it better next time, full stop. No use in dwelling on how you Could have made things better or Should have done it a different way—it’s over and done with, so move on and kill it next time.

    For the record, I’m of the opinion that we did, indeed, kill it on Sunday.

    Anyway, thank you again to Morgan of Translabyrinth for helping me through a rough patch. Next time will be awesome, and I won’t let myself get down next time I’m at an event because, in the end…

  19. You’re at a gaming convention. Have fun with it!

  20. With all of the stress of collecting footage and meeting appointments, it was easy to lose sight of what was all around me—literally. I was surrounded by video games! Video games and people who love video games like I do! I was playing games that won’t come out for months! Fortunately, I snapped out of my reverie reasonably quickly, and I was able to bathe in the glory of everything PAX had to offer while still doing my best to create content for Gamer’s Guide to Life.

    Events like PAX are why I want to get into gaming journalism; they’re why I’m sitting here writing in my walk-in closet with pie-in-the-sky dreams of someday seeing my name in print. They’re not the whole reason, mind, but PAX sure as hell went a long way to getting me excited for the future, and if I can’t appreciate what a lucky dog I am to be attending events like PAX and writing about them, I’m doing myself a disservice.

Ten mistakes, ten lessons learned. Thanks again for tuning in to my PAX content, and I look forward to further events, early impressions, and learning experiences in the near future.

Five for Friday: Most Anticipated Games of 2012

Alright, the New Year is here, and that means we’re through with all of that wistful, backward-glancing, year-in-review stuff. Instead, we’re diving headlong into cynical, speculative, forward-looking articles. Rejoice! Let’s kick off this year in a positive way, by checking out the five upcoming games I’m most excited for.

Top Five Most-Anticipated Games Coming Out In 2012, Of Which Only Two Have Actual, Concrete Release Dates

5) Metal Gear Rising: Revengence

The game title that coined the best, most-nonsensical gaming term since “Metroidvania,” Metal Gear Rising: Revengence (it’s so bad, and I love it) is a sidestep for the series, focusing on wimpy-kid-turned-ninja-badass Raiden. I’ve never been a huge fan of the Metal Gear Solid franchise, mostly because I’m absolutely awful at stealth games, so Revengence‘s new emphasis on hack-y, slash-y, stylish action is a welcome departure for me. Plus, it’s being developed by Platinum Games. Platinum Games! The goodwill I have for Bayonetta alone is enough to convince me to rush out and buy this one, no questions asked.

4) Alan Wake’s American Nightmare

I’ve already discussed how much I love Alan Wake, so the prospect of a follow-up is always welcome. Unfortunately, I haven’t actually finished Alan Wake yet, and because of my efforts to avoid any plot-related spoilers, I don’t know a whole heck of a lot about American Nightmare. Based on the trailer shown at the Spike VGAs, though, I can make a few educated guesses. American Nightmare looks to take place in the American Southwest, inside an episode of Night Springs, a television program that protagonist Alan Wake used to write for. In addition to combating the darkness now teeming through his new surroundings, Wake must contend with Mr. Scratch, a live-action mad man claiming to be his double. American Nightmare will be part of Xbox Live Arcade’s House Party promotion starting on February 15, which means I have some serious catching-up to do before Wake’s return to gaming.

3) Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD

Tony Hawk suffered probably the most painful, easily-followed journey from riches to rags in gaming history, going from universally acclaimed (Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2) to universally reviled (Tony Hawk Ride) in the span of eight short years. After taking a year off, the Birdman is back, and returning to his roots. THPS HD is a download-only XBLA and PSN game, and an attempt to recapture what fans loved about the series (fun, tight skating mechanics) while getting rid of what they didn’t (content-bloat; skateboard peripheral; Bam Margera; etc.). I spent entirely too much of my youth perfecting virtual kickflips and finding hidden tapes, and the prospect of doing it again in HD greatly excites me.

2) The Last of Us

Yet another reveal at the Spike VGAs, The Last of Us is the newest original game from Naughty Dog, who, after three stellar Uncharted entries, could convince me to buy an up-resed version ET for the Atari 2600 if they claimed they developed it. Little is known about The Last of Us, but the trailer’s choice to focus on character interaction rather than straight-up zombie shootin’ is a telling one; besides, Naughty Dog knows a thing or three about how to create compelling characters, and I see no reason for them to stop now. With luck, The Last of Us will do for post-apocalyptic zombie games what Uncharted did for action-adventure games.

1) SSX

When SSX first premiered last year under the subtitle Deadly Descents, I was worried; gone were the whimsical, Uber-tricking antics that made SSX Tricky and SSX 3 so gargantuan and fun, and in their stead was a new, grim tone, more befitting of Call of Duty: Black Ops than Cool Boarders. Since then, EA has released a bevy of new screenshots, trailers, and gameplay showing that, yeah, SSX will be just fine. Demonstrating the same over-the-top flair as previous entries while adding new elements like wing suits and the brand new Survive It mode, SSX is back to show the Shawn Whites and Stokeds of this generation how snowboarding games are supposed to play. February 28 cannot come soon enough.

Five for Friday – Favorite Moments of 2011

2012! Is a movie by Roland Emmerick from a little over two years ago. But yes, dear readers, we are now officially in the new year. 2011 was a red-letter year for gaming, so before we meet this new epoch with open arms and puckered lips (and still drunk from New Year’s Eve, apparently), let’s reflect a bit on what happened in gaming during the past twelve months. Unfortunately, I didn’t play nearly enough games to make an interesting, honest Top Five Games list, with many heavy-hitters going unplayed by me (The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, Super Mario 3D Land, Portal 2, etc.), so I’m instead going to talk about my five favorite moments from this year.

My Five Favorite Moments In Gaming From 2011 Not Involving Skyrim, Which I Didn’t Play, And Am Okay With

5) Sonic is fun again – 2D platforming in Sonic Generations

Back in 1991, Sega released their first 16-bit console, the Sega Genesis, and introduced the world to Sonic the Hedgehog, a speedy, edgy blue blur of gaming ‘tude whose popularity would soon grow to rival that of his direct competitor, Nintendo’s Mario. Time has not been kind to Sega’s spiky mascot, though, and Sonic has been wandering in the gaming wilderness since, well, the end of the Sega Genesis, with each new attempt to rejuvenate the character falling on increasingly more disappointed and cynical ears. After over a decade of tries, though, Sonic finally has a quality game to brag about with Sonic Generations. While not the best game in the series, Sonic Generations does what no other console Sonic game since the 90’s has done: remembered that Sonic is fun because of his solid platforming, and not just because he runs fast. Sonic Generations has a fair few flaws about it (atrocious voice acting; inconsistent 3D levels; stupid, stupid boss battles), but its side-scrolling stages are pure, old-school delight, and worthy of the Sonic the Hedgehog name. It’s about damn time.

4) Your friendly neighborhood… Batman? – Gliding around in Batman: Arkham Asylum

Batman: Arkham City is one of the favorite games of the year, lifting the best parts of Arkham Asylum and melding them with an open-world structure that actually enhances the game, rather than simply makes it bigger. Though not as expansive as Liberty City or Renaissance Italy, Arkham City is rather large, and positively daunting to tackle on foot. Enter Grapnel, the Caped Crusader’s newest gizmo for fighting crime. Grapnel allows Batman to use his grappling hook as a slingshot, gliding into range of a contact point, then using the gadget to propel him over rooftops and hardened thugs alike, allowing Batman to cross entire sections of Arkham City without so much as touching the ground. The mechanic feels more akin to something from a Spider-Man game, but its execution feels true to the character, and makes Arkham City an absolute treat to navigate.

3) Talk about a gold rush – Rayman Origins’ Treasure Chest levels

Rayman Origins is a game that nearly everyone had more fun playing than me, but I still largely enjoyed my time with it, despite its overemphasis on Lum-collecting and pretty-good-but-not-standout platforming mechanics. What does set Rayman Origins apart from other recent 2D platforming games is its Treasure Chest levels, stages focused on chasing a sentient wooden box through a series of collapsing, obstacle course-like mazes, making split-second jumps and narrowly avoiding deathtraps. Each level is perhaps 45 seconds to a minute long, but is brutally challenging, often needing more restarts than finding that “perfect run” in a Tony Hawk game. It’s these sequences when Rayman Origins feels the most alive, and I wish the rest of the game felt as distinct as the ten brief sections that puts even Dark Souls’ difficulty to shame.

2) This place about to blow – Modern Warfare 3’s “Iron Lady” mission

One of my favorite parts of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare was the Death From Above level, where I got to take the gunner’s chair of an AC-130 and blow the crap out of everything that didn’t blink the correct color. It was the perfect breather moment, letting me unwind from the tension brought on by so much frontline action. Iron Lady acts as a spiritual sequel to good ol’ DFB, adding a twist: the mission forces the player to be both the AC-130 gunner and the on-the-ground foot soldier, leapfrogging back and forth between roles and creating a wonderful contrast between long-distance targeting and intense, close-range firefights. Modern Warfare 3 doesn’t want for killer setpieces (both the sandstorm and the entire last mission nearly took this one’s place), but Iron Lady is perhaps the game’s finest.

1) I’m on a boat – The Ship Graveyard in Uncharted 3

Speaking of killer setpieces, Uncharted 3 has enough awesome moments to populate a whole new trilogy of Indiana Jones films, with several competing for a spot here (wandering the desert, fighting in a burning building, the entire last mission, etc.). In the end, the place that thrilled me the most was the Ship Graveyard, which Nathan Drake must explore after being captured by pirates. Initially, the section feels cheap, surrounding you with a hundred enemies all gunning for your hide, but after this first rough patch, the section opens up into something magnificent. Most of the action in the Uncharted series can be neatly divided into two sections: platforming and shooting, with the two rarely overlapping. The Ship Graveyard, on the other hand, forces Drake to climb the rusty exterior of countless ships, making dangerous leaps and finding creative handholds, all while fending off gun-toting baddies. Making tricky jumps feels much more intense under a hail of gunfire, giving the platforming sections an urgency lacking in most of the game. At one point, while I was climbing, the camera pulled back to reveal the entire disabled hull of a ship I was climbing, reducing Drake to mere pixels in size and dwarfing me with its sense of scale. Like the rest of the game, the Ship Graveyard is flawed, but no other game this year put my jaw on the floor the way it managed to.

Five for Friday: Multiplayer Games of 2011

As the Christmas season winds down and the year comes to a close, one major holiday still looms on the horizon: New Year’s Eve! Yes, New Year’s Eve, the only holiday I can think of where people come together and get completely trashed for the sheer, unadulterated hell of it. If you’re like me, you’ll buy about $75 in Chuck Norrises for friends of friends who you haven’t really met before, and, by the end the night, find yourself noshing on French Dips and cheese fries at an all-night truck stop, weeping silently into your au jus all the while. Don’t ever, ever be like me.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that New Year’s Eve is a great opportunity for a party. I Am A Parade heartily endorses multiplayer gaming as a natural extension of parties, and 2011 was a great year for split-screen fun, whether cooperative or competitive. I couldn’t decide between playing with friends and playing against friends, so I’m doing a twofer for this week. Enjoy!

Five Great Cooperative Multiplayer Games from 2011 for Palling Around With Friends on New Year’s Eve

Gears of War 3

The Gears series has always been known for its cooperative, split-screen action, but Gears of War 3 escalates the scope even further by allowing up to four players to tackle the single player campaign together. True, local co-op is limited to the usual two, but Gears’ usual loud, brash, spectacle-driven gameplay still makes for a great show, even for people who might not be playing at all. Grab an extra controller, and give the Locust a New Year’s Resolution they’ll never forget.

Kirby’s Return to Dreamland

Man, Nintendo loves their co-operative platformers. 2009 had New Super Mario Bros. Wii, last year brought us Donkey Kong Country Returns, and this October’s Kirby: Return to Dream Land makes three in so many years. Unlike other recent ventures for Kirby (Epic Yarn and Mass Attack), Return to Dream Land is a traditional Kirby game, complete with the eat-and-copy mechanics we all know, love, and find slightly disturbing. The game adds four-player drop-in/drop-out co-op, allowing you to share health items and tackle tricky jumps as a team.

LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7

Traveler’s Tales’ LEGO games have been some of the best local co-op games on the market, and LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 is more of the same. Literally, it’s a continuation of last year’s LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4, with the titular 5-7 books being represented in playable form. Of course, the first LEGO Harry Potter was one of the series’ strongest entries, so the opportunity to continue the tale of Harry, Ron, and Hermione vis-à-vis plastic blocks should be no problem for LEGO fans, and the previous game’s two-player split-screen co-op is as fun as ever.

Portal 2

Thought the first game made you feel smart? Wait till you try it with a buddy. Portal 2‘s co-op is a separate entity from the main story, and tasks two players with using teamwork to plow through another round of brain-bending puzzles. Elements like timing are taken into account, though the game does a good job of giving you tools to coordinate your efforts. Perhaps it’s not as drop-in/drop-out as others on the list, but it’s a grand time for anyone looking for a co-op experience different from the usual platforming or shooting fare.

Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One

Though the game has been built from the ground up as a four-player co-op experience, Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One is basically a traditional Ratchet and Clank game. The series’ staple elements of huge weapons, imaginative worlds, and whip-smart humor are still intact in All 4 One, and the extra chaos from three other players only adds to the enjoyment.

Of course, there’s more to multiplayer than acting nice towards one another. Keep your friends close and your frenemies on the couch next to you–here are the best titles for literally stabbing your buddies in the back.

Five Great Competitive Multiplayer Games from 2011 for Destroying Your Friends on New Year’s Eye

Goldeneye 007: Reloaded

The king is back, or so Activision would have you believe. Inflationary marketing remarks aside, there’s a lot to like about Eurocom’s updated take on 1997′s Nintendo 64 classic, including a throwback to the original’s four-player split-screen action that wasted so many hours of my youth. Goldeneye 007: Reloaded adheres more to modern shooter conventions than its forbearer (ironsight aiming, rebounding health, etc.), but includes just enough Bond references to feel distinct (movie villains like Jaws and Oddjob, weapons like the Moonraker Laser and Golden Gun, paintball mode, etc.).

Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary

While we’re discussing throwbacks, here’s an HD remake of one of the most seminal games of the past ten years. Combat Evolved Anniversary still sports two-player co-op through the main campaign (which blew my 14-year-old mind back in 2001), but the real draw is its four-player split-screen deathmatchin’ fun. Included are seven maps from past Halo titles, available in both original and content-added forms, and Halo‘s classic arsenal of weapons (including the almighty Pistol in all of its broken glory). Multi-kill!

Mortal Kombat

It’s only fitting that two years after Street Fighter came back to reign supreme over the fighting game scene, Mortal Kombat would dust itself off and enter the ring once again. Rid of much of the fluff and extra modes it had accumulated over the years, Mortal Kombat celebrates the tight, frantic fighting that made the series great, and adds even more gory and over-the-top Fatalities that fans have come to expect. The perfect fighting game for spectating–it doesn’t matter who wins, as long as the ending is bloody.

Rayman Origins

While technically a co-operative platformer a la New Super Mario Bros Wii, Rayman Origins stands out by offering more ways to grief your partners than any other game I can think of. Whether it’s slapping players around to prevent them from choosing a certain character, or taking advantage of the infinite-lives respawn system for cheap deaths, Rayman Origins is as much a game about screwing your teammates as much as it is about helping them.

You Don’t Know Jack

Back in the 90′s, when Chandler-levels of snark permeated just about everything, there was a series of trivia games for the PC and PlayStation that perfectly combined being smart and being a smartass. Jack is back and irreverent as ever, with wise cracking questions across a multitude of categories, ranging from history to a more pop culture bent. If board game trivia laced with wise cracks doesn’t sound like a great way to down a couple brews with friends, then you don’t know…

Five for Friday: More Winter Courses

A few weeks ago, I did a ten-part list for VG Tribune on some of the best winter locations in gaming, and had great fun reminiscing about playing in the digital snow. Well, the winter gaming list is back, and this time it’s personal—literally. The following five areas are not necessarily paragons of gaming, but I love each one for my own, special reasons. As Tex Richman would say, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.

Top Five Winter Levels, of Which Only One was Made by Rare

5) Narshe (Final Fantasy IV)

Buried in the northern mountains, the small, frozen town of Narshe plays host to numerous plot points throughout the course of Final Fantasy VI, including the beginning of the game and its epic opening sequence. My love of Narshe doesn’t come from its importance to the game, though, but rather from the actual town itself. Narshe is primarily a mining community, buried in snow and mountains, and generally hidden away from the rest of the world. I, too, know of a small, frozen town, hidden away in the mountains and known mostly for its mining, and I identify with this area. Affection for the rural communities of Montana isn’t required to appreciate Narshe, but having it certainly doesn’t hurt.

4) The Hanger (Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2)

Speaking of affection for my home state’s rural communities, we have the Hanger, the very first level of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2. While not terribly explicit in the actual environment, the Hanger takes place in fictitious town of Mullet Falls, Montana; when I was a kid, I thought being name-dropped by the Tony Hawk franchise was everything a boy could ask for, and played this stage to death out of sheer loyalty. Loyalty isn’t the only reason to love the Hanger—the area’s compact space, huge gaps, and expertly-placed rails allow for frenzied, point-heavy gameplay like few other spots in the game. The best part: opening the doors of the hanger, going outside into the snow, and wondering where, oh where, is this place?

3) Frappe Snow Land (Mario Kart 64)

The Mario Kart franchise is not hurting for snowy courses, but Frappe Snow Land is my favorite. The actual course itself is a blast—literally! Exploding snow men dot the road, waiting patient to catch careless players and give new meaning to the phrase “bomb the hill.” The giant snow Yoshi statue helps give the place a celebratory panache, and the gentle curves and over-water jumps are far superior to the penguins of Mario Kart 64’s other winter track, Sherbert Land.

2) Freezeezy Peak (Banjo-Kazooie)

Man, if ever a developer loved creating “snow” levels, it was Rare. It seems like most of their games for the Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64 had at least one stage with a winter setting, and I very nearly decided to make a list of the Top Five Rareware-Created Winter Levels (hell, I still could yet). In the end, though, I decided to focus on my favorite area in Banjo-Kazooie, the explicitly Christmas-themed Freezeezy Peak. Freezeezy would be in a great position to top this list based solely on the warm fuzzies I get from so much deliberate holiday imagery (an enormous snowman, complete with top hat and scarf; sentient Christmas lights; oodles of presents in brightly-colored wrapping paper), but it’s my favorite level for gameplay as well. In Freezeezy Peak, Kazooie learns the Beak Bomb maneuver, which allows the player to hurtle through the air and smash into enemies—sweet. Throw in my favorite Mumbo Jumbo transformation (Banjo’s a li’l walrus! Cute!), and Freezeezy Peak is pure, snowy delight.

1) Garibaldi (SSX Tricky)

In my list for VG Tribune, I put the entirety of Big Mountain, the play space for SSX 3. In memory of that hallowed game, and in anticipation for the newest entry (oh, lordy, that new trailer), I’m going to include my favorite course from the much-lauded (and totally awesome) SSX Tricky. Garibaldi is the first track in the game, and is chock full of non-stop tricks, big air, and beautiful scenery. Its gentle course layout and liberal amount of ramps and jumps create the sense that Garibaldi is a playground, letting players simply faff around and enjoy the hell out of it. I could play this course literally all day and not get sick of it.

Five for Friday: Downloadable Games from 2011

Though perhaps not as strong as past years, 2011 was a fine twelve months for downloadable games. Some of my favorite gaming experiences have come from the Xbox Live Arcade, and the few I purchased so far this year have done me up right (Magic: The Gathering – Duel of the Planeswalker is still something of a weekly staple since I first got it in June).

Unfortunately, what with this holiday’s deluge of releases, and only a finite amount of money that I can devote to games, there are still a few top-tier gaming experiences I missed, and would like very much to catch up with.

The Top Five Downloadable Games from 2011 That I Will Buy If Given Microsoft Funhouse Points for Christmas

5) Torchlight

Runic Games’ little dungeon crawler that could broke out in popularity when it launched on Steam in 2009, and now Xbox Live has received a port. It’s a loving port, though, letting players loot through randomly-generated dungeons while slaying fell beasts and collection sweet drops. It’s basically a cartoonier, less-epic Diablo, but Diablo ain’t on Xbox Live, and my magpie-like predilection for finding and hording treasure would surely be taken care of with Torchlight.

4) The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile

One of my favorite new genres of the past ten years is the stylish action game, a blend of traditional hack ‘n’ slash brawling and aesthetic show-boating made popular by games like Devil May Cry and God of War. Vampire Smile cribs several combat elements from its stylish action betters (juggles, points-based combos, complete and total overkill moves), and sets it in the vein of a 2D beat ‘em up. The strange, Johnny-The-Homicidal-Maniac-meets-Kill-Bill art direction and hyper-violence gels with the play mechanics to give the package a dark, gritty feel unique from anything I’ve ever played on Xbox Live Arcade.

3) Beyond Good and Evil HD

After hearing somewhere close to THE ENTIRE GAMING CRITICAL WORLD sing the praises of Beyond Good and Evil, Michel Ancel’s adventure cult classic that sold roughly two-and-a-half copies, now I can experience BG&E‘s open-world exploration, Zelda-esque dungeon crawling, and startlingly sci-fi fiction in HD. Protagonist Jade is still regarded as one of the better-written female characters in all of gaming, and Ancel’s vivid, imaginative world still stands as compelling to this day.

2) Outland

Perhaps developer Housemarque hoped for a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup effect when they created Outland, because the game plays like a glorious combination of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night and Ikaruga. In Outland, players scrounge about the environments, discovering new powers and unlocking new sections of the game in true Metroidvania fashion. Outland‘s visuals look informed by African tribal art, and the game is positively stunning. One of my favorite downloadable games is 2009′s Metroidvania platformer Shadow Complex, and I’m hankering to dive into another open, side-scrolling world.

1) Bastion

Oh, lordy, does this game look inviting. Nearly everything about it, from the gorgeous, hand-drawn aesthetic, to the wonderful bluesy soundtrack, to the twitchy action-RPG gameplay, calls out my name, like a whispered Siren song consisting largely of Beatles lyrics. Bastion’s fiction is rich and involved, and the game’s use of sound (the narrator, the aforementioned bluesy soundtrack, etc.) piques my interest in ways I haven’t felt for a game before. If I can carve a niche out in my holiday break, and especially if the game goes on sale, Bastion will be my holiday must-play.

Ten Gaming Winter Wonderlands (VG Tribune)

Snow is falling in Montana this morning, bringing to mind images of cozy things, like blankets, hot soup, and the time I 100%-ed Shadow Complex during winter break two years ago while watching Outlaw Star. This seems as good a time as any to reference a list I did for VG Tribune (though not as good as when it was originally published!). It’s a list of ten gaming winter wonderlands, some of the most soothing and thematically pleasing areas in gaming, especially when wrapped in the aforementioned blankets. Enjoy!

Title: “Ten Gaming Winter Wonderlands”
Outlet: VG Tribune
Publish Date: 11/4/11

Fall continues to move along at a steady clip, as the temperature drops and leaves continue to base jump from the trees. It’s during these times, after we’ve wrapped ourselves in umpteen layers of blankets and poured ourselves a hot beverage, that we here at VG Tribune start to look from autumn to winter. Specifically, to our winter games—all of the warm, cozy feelings without any of that darn cold! Here are ten exceptional winter locales in gaming, arranged alphabetically.

Read the rest at VG Tribune.

Five for Friday: Really, Really Difficult Games

We’re trying a new thing here at I Am A Parade: every Friday, I’m going to try to post a different five-item list. As to “why,” the answer is simple: there is absolutely nothing more brainless and easier to create that a list. Beyond that, lists are pretty fun to make and read, so we’ll see where this gets us.

Anyway, since many different industry outlets are so focused on Dark Souls, I thought I’d make this week’s list using one of the themes from that game—in this case, the obscene and ridiculous difficulty. While Dark Souls has gained it notoriety from its incredible level of challenge, it’s far from the only tough game. Here are five games that I find stupidly, head-bangingly difficult.

 

5. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, PC)
“But Andrew,” you are surely protesting, “that game has regenerating health, and a set of AI squadmates that all-but do the mission for you! How could a game like that possibly make a Most Challenging list?” Two more words: enemy closets. You see, for all of Modern Warfare’s achievements (and believe me, there are more than you may remember), it incorporates one of the most egregious difficulty-padding systems in the history of game design. In Modern Warfare, you will often run into sections where enemies will continuously spawn into the level, forever, until you cross an invisible line somewhere in the environment that tells the game to cut it out. In a nutshell, this means that when you reach one of these sections, any semblance of strategy or waiting until it’s safe to progress through the game goes out the window, and instead turns into a footrace to see whether or not you can turn the game’s “Infinitely Generate Terrorists” button off. This gets especially bothersome in a few specific places (the TV station in Charlie Don’t Surf, for instance), and when playing through on Veteran, it turns a fun game into a chore.

 

4. Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (SNES, Wii Virtual Console)
JVC’s series of Star Wars games for the Super NES are notorious for their difficulty, including instant-death jumping traps, myriad, murderous enemies that respawn the moment they go off-screen, and bosses with incredibly long life bars. By far the most ridiculous out of the three, though, is the title based on the second movie in the original trilogy, The Empire Strikes Back. Enemies come from every direction, shooting, clawing, and generally mauling the hell out of you from all sides, reaching a fever pitch matched by neither of the other two games. Health power-ups are few and far between as well, making learning enemy placement an absolute necessity. While the game does contain a passcode system, allowing players to retain their progress after an inevitable Game Over, the system only works if you manage to actually finish a level, something I have never managed to do in Super Empire Strikes Back.

 

3. Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening (PlayStation 2)
Here’s a story about this game’s English localization that you’ve likely already heard, but permit me to tell it anyway. Back when Devil May Cry 3 was being ported over to the US, someone at Capcom decided that American gamers wanted something punishingly, absolutely difficult, and made a decision that would be very crucial to how the game would be perceived in the States: they took the Hard difficulty from the Japanese game and made it the Normal setting in the American version. In addition, the Easy setting was unlocked by dying repeatedly, after which the game would smugly suggest that maybe, just maybe, you would like to bump the difficulty down. Prideful games did not take the game up on its offer; perhaps it was because the setting was called Normal, and they didn’t want anyone (presumably the game) to think they couldn’t handle a measly default difficulty. Cheap hits, insane bosses, and profuse swearing ensued.

 

2. Ikaruga (GameCube, Xbox Live Arcade)
Ikaruga didn’t start the Bullet Hell genre of arcade shooter, a genre known for including more onscreen enemies and firepower than most non-dedicated players can handle, but it’s certainly one of the best-loved take on the shoot ‘em up genre. Part of what makes Ikaruga so beloved is its polarity-based gameplay: in the game, there are two kinds of enemies, black and white, that shoot two colors of bullets, black and white. Your ship can turn either black or white to absorb bullets of the same color, or to further damage enemies of the opposite color. Hardcore fans of the title were able to reach a Zen point, where swapping colors to shoot and absorb happened naturally and fluidly. Unfortunately, only hardcore fans of the title were able to do so: because only half of any given group of projectiles could hurt you, the game throws approximately 3.2 billion of them at you, making it all-but impossible to keep track of the onscreen activity. I actually rented this game once, only to return it that afternoon because I spent two hours dying repeatedly on the first level.

 

1. Disney’s Aladdin (Sega Genesis)
There are other, more difficult games that could have made this list (but just barely!), but the ultimate spot goes to Disney’s Aladdin for the Genesis, for having the dubious honor of being the most-played game that I could never, ever beat. Aladdin is a side-scrolling title that loosely recreates the movie’s plot, adding stages and enemies wherever the game needs conflict (read: all the bloody time). The game’s various traps played havoc with me, and enemy placement was just reasonable enough to not feel cheap. What made this game the most difficult, though, was its complete and total lack of any way to save your progress, meaning that if you got a Game Over, you needed to start all the way back at the beginning. To this day, it literally stresses me out to watch gameplay footage of this on YouTube, because it reminds me of countless lost hours of my childhood, meriting only frustration.

What’s the toughest game you’ve ever played? Sound off in the comments!

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